Change, Change, Change

I have had a lot of changes in my life recently. Changes that forced me over a year ago to abandon this blog and focus inwardly on my life, and culminated in the loss of my mother to breast cancer.  No one ever wants to lose their parents, especially when their parents are still so young.  But with my mother’s death, I was given an amazing new insight and clarity about life that I didn’t have before. In other words,  with my mother gone I am officially a grown-up.

Yes, I realize that since I AM 38, I should have realized I was grown up a long time ago.  But you really never feel that way until you can no longer pick up the phone to call your mom.  Despite whether you had a good or bad relationship, rocky or smooth, your mother is the true umbilical cord to your childhood. 

And so with this growing up, I am making more changes. Positive changes.  First and foremost, I am changing the name of this blog to “Simply Green”.   The former name is long and unwieldly.  Simply Green, however, aptly conveys my quest to live simply, live green and to save money (green being a double entendre for both the green movement and money).

Not all changes have been as hard as caring for and then losing my mother.  I have made a great many positive changes in my life over the past year and I am excited to tell you about them and I will start tomorrow.

Take care and keep watching.  Simple living is back.

Make the most of your home, simplify

This month, after six years of struggling with beige carpet, we are getting rid of it and putting in low-maintenance laminate.   We chose laminate because of its durability and its low maintenance requirements.  Unlike carpet, laminate won’t embed pet fur from our three lovely shedding creatures, it won’t stain when the dog or cat urp and it is low on the allergen list.  It doesn’t scratch easily with pet claws and 8 year-olds and it doesn’t need waxing or sanding like hardwoods.

Do yourself a favor, find one thing that requires high maintenance in your home and…..get rid of it.  Replace it with something that gives you more time for the pleasures of life and takes less life energy to maintain. 

Simple Life, Life Made Simple

The simple living family recently experienced a family trauma that, a few years ago, would have thrown us into a stressful meltdown.   Our son fell and broke his arm….in two….  Not a simple fracture or break but multiple compound fractures with exposed bone that required surgical readjustments, traction and a fairly long recovery period for an 8 year old.   

Last night I was walking the dog for some much needed exercise (for both of us) and musing over the past week’s events.  As I walked something occurred to me.  We weren’t stressed.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, we were very stressed over small boy’s hand/arm, surgery, hospital stay and recovery.  I was mostly stressed about his pain.  But other than that, we simply weren’t stressed.   Our years of paring down our life to live simply and basic meant that we didn’t have a multitude of commitments already in progress that had to be scuttled, rescheduled, revised or reworked.   We didn’t have to call and make arrangements to take over this or that.   We don’t have a ton of debt so we aren’t stressed about the forthcoming bills that always accompany a health crisis in the United States (and that is another rant for another day) or worry about our jobs, both of which were very understanding, because we have opted to stay in lower paying but more family friendly positions in our careers.   In other words, we were able to focus our entire energy towards our son and getting him through this event.

It felt good.  After this past week, I now know I wouldn’t change a thing, even if I could. 

It’s October, have you checked your boobs today?

October is breast cancer awareness month.  This month is important to me.  It was the month that my mother was first diagnosed with simple DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) at stage 0 just three years ago.  October was the month her newest doctor, the oncologist, said “don’t worry, we don’t consider this cancer.”  October was also the month that she was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer exactly one year after her initial diagnosis of “it isn’t really considered cancer.”

Stage IV is technically terminal. 

It is October again and my mother now has breast cancer cells in her ribs, her spine, her spinal fluid, her brain, adrenal gland, thyroid, and various other places.  She doesn’t have much time left.  It is her illness that made me take stock of my  life and realize that *I* wanted to be in control and not some company, some bill or some house. 

So check your boobs, check them monthly, have your mammograms and most importantly if you are diagnosed with this disease research.  Every day new therapies are approved for earlier and earlier stages of breast cancer leading to longer and longer survival rates. 

Don’t wait for a terminal illness to remind you what is important in life.  Jobs will come and go but your experiences are yours to keep.  Make time in your life for you, for your family, for your friends.  Everything else can wait.

Top 5 Lessons I Learned from my Dog

We humans are funny creatures.  We struggle and struggle to balance life, to find meaning and to spend time with our loved ones.   After two years with my big white German Shepherd mix mut from the pound, Annabelle, I think I finally have learned something showing you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.  Here are the top 5 lessons I have learned from my dog.

5.  Nap frequently.  Life is always better when your rested.

4.  Always nap next to a loved one if possible.  If not, find the best chair in the house.

3.  Spend 15-20 minutes a day soaking up the sun’s rays.   You won’t get skin cancer or premature wrinkles from 15-20 minutes and remember, despite all the bad press the sun gets these days, it is the life giving force of our planet and vital to every living creature.

2.  Never turn down a treat when one is offered. One piece of cake won’t make you fat.

1.  Always greet your loved ones with unabashed enthusiasm and joy at seeing them again. 

And one bonus…

Take frequent walks and smell the flowers.  Exercise clears the head and keeps you healthy and happy.

Is a clean house really that important?

The dust bunnies in my home are beginning to organize a coup to take over the running of the household.  Don’t get me wrong, my home is not dirty by any stretch of the imagination.  We keep things picked up and tidy, everything has a place and everything is in its place.  Dishes are always loaded immediately into the dishwasher after use and kitchen and bathroom cabinets are kept clean enough that we won’t catch a disease.

But we don’t spend a great deal of time cleaning things like baseboards or scrubbing the grout between the tiles on the floor.  We really don’t do much sweeping more than once a week, vacuuming a few times a week to keep the pet hair from creating a new pet, things like that.  When I polled some friends I was shocked to see some people sweep 2-3 times a day and spend hours scrubbing the grout in their bathrooms.  Why? I mean really, why?

Other than keeping things tidy as you go along and sanitary enough not to get ill, is it really important to have a house that clean?  It seems to me that there are far more valuable ways to spend your time. 

My husband has a tendency to become obsessive compulsive so I know what it is like to live with someone who cannot or will not stop cleaning.  However, even he will tell you it was the biggest waste of his time because he was so worried about keeping the house clean he couldn’t DO anything, play with our son, shirk off his duties and enjoy a day out in the sunshine.  Getting a new, far more challenging job helped him get his issue under control and ironically enough, even though he works harder and far longer hours than he used to, we see him more and interact with him more because he isn’t always cleaning.

So come with me, step away from the broom, lay down the dish rag and go outside to throw a ball with your kids, ride bikes together, take a walk….do anything! 

A difficult path

Moving has been on my mind lately.  Our close friends and neighbors have sold their house and have bought a beautiful house in a new neighborhood.  I am happy for them.  Their new house is beautiful.  In fact, their house is so beautiful that I am fighting the urge to buy one for myself.

Living simply is not easy.  Even those with the best intentions find ourselves, sometimes, caught in the subconscious competitive urge to have more and better.  I am having that problem today.

I know we won’t move.  I cannot justify buying a house that costs nearly double the one I own.  But still.  The urge is there. 

I think it is time to think my needs – do I have enough to meet my needs?  The answer is yes.  Do I have enough to meet a few wants?  Absolutely.  Then I have enough.

Back and rejuvenated – Kids and Money

My recent vacation has recharged my batteries, help reprioritize my life and got me moving in more ways than one.   So, with that, I will jump right back into the deep end of the pool and get busy sorting my life out and helping others do the same.

Today I read an interesting article on MSN Money about today’s youth mistakenly believing they will be rich.  Now some will but there appears to be an over abundance of children believing that despite career choices such as teachers, they would earn a six figure salary and fall into the scant 5% of Americans in that bracket.  

When asked about their future, most polled for this article were not concerned, believing big bucks were simply around the corner.  What was even more apparent is that they don’t have any true idea of how they will earn that six figure income.  The fact of the matter is that today’s youth have a very unrealistic view of money, earning power and debt.  What will happen to these kids?  Well, since only 5% of Americans today boast a salary greater than $100,000, the other 95% is likely to end up in crippling debt before they have reached their 30’s taking out gigantic student loans believing their earning power will only increase and significantly offset the loan debt.  As well, credit card companies are making it easier to get credit cars and most college graduates are leaving college with significant consumer debt on top of their student loans.

This trend is disturbing on many levels but for me personally, I see it with my son.   As I posted earlier this year, my son has been trying to convince me to buy a new vehicle when my 9 year old car is perfectly fine.  He now has his eyes on a paddle boat that, in his words, ONLY costs $500.00.  We don’t need a paddle boat, nor do we want one, and spending $500.00 on a paddle boat simply isn’t going to happen, especially since we share a canoe with a relative. 

Clearly there are many influences at work in this great salary misconception going on in today’s youthful minds.  First we can look toward the media and the constant influence and bombardment of advertisement designed more and more for the youngest viewers.  Kids boast greater buying power than ever before; advertisers know this and focus as much energy as possible tapping into that market. 

Second, credit card companies make it easier and easier to gain credit with little or no financial rating allowing young children and teens to have access to fairly high credit limits.  Teenagers and credit cards without proper education on being “moneywise” is a recipe for disaster.  Both my husband and I achieved the grand status of credit card holders before we left for college.  Our lack of education on how to appropriately wield this power led to crippling debt that took over ten years and a fairly high income to retire.  It hendered our ability purchase a home earlier on in our marriage and meant lots of lean years right after our son was born.   

But ultimately even though the first influences two can be very powerful, we can lay the blame directly at the door of parents who fail in this one vital educational opportunity to teach their children about money, how to use it, how to save it and how to respect it.  Children look to their parents for instruction on how to manage their lives, including their buying power.  When they see parents racking up debt with impunity and trading in perfectly good older cars for the newest model, they will learn that debt is okay and image is more important than security. 

I take my job as parent seriously and with that, my husband and I will be opening our budget and sitting down with our son on Saturday morning to begin the basics of making him moneywise.   I encourage anyone reading to do the same so our children can escape the crippling debt/work cycle our generation has created for ourselves. 

Living

I haven’t posted in a while.  I have simply been too busy….living.  Living simply but also simply living.  A lot has gone on in the last few weeks. 

First, after battling many mild to moderate, seemingly unconnected symptoms (of what we never could figure out) for years, some since my early 20’s and others appeared while pregnant with my son, I think I may have an answer.  I recently visited an Immunologist during a lymphatic reaction to a vaccine booster and have now been diagnosed with an “autoimmune disorder” which basically means, yeah, something is wrong but we don’t know what the hell it could be so we will say your immune system has gone nuts for no reason (hmmm, toxins in the air, the water, our food – yeah, no reason….)  No name, but there it is.   I personally think it is a long standing food allergy that has wreaked havoc on my body…. with that theory under my belt, I have gone off wheat (gluten) and dairy and I am finding to be a bit easier than I originally thought.   But only time will tell if my hunch is correct.   But hey, if the upside is that I eat really well (lots of lean meats, veg and fruits) and get plenty of rest, while avoiding medication – I can’t see a down side.

I have also been working on the outline for a book and reading everything I can get my hands on both fiction and useful books on writing.  Yes, I am one of those thousands of people with an unfinished novel in my desk drawer.   But who knows, maybe someday I will finish it and you will see my name in print (if anyone thinks it is at all interesting).

Finally, my family is preparing for a trip to the coast.  I love water, anything to do with water.  I need it to replenish my soul so I am, in particular, looking forward to this vacation.  I am also looking forward to two days in the car with my beloved fellas….I think I may be the only wife and mother in history to say that….but only in the car do we get uninterrupted time together.  Sometimes we read, listen to music or play our own games but mostly we talk.  I think it is one of my favorite parts of a driving vacation. 

All of this means that, you may not hear from me for a while but I won’t be gone for long.  I will be back with more thoughts, essays, and tips on living simply in the world.

Purging feels good.

This weekend I purged all of our old stuff.  Our son’s outgrown toys, clothes, an old computer monitor that had been replaced, etc. etc.  It was a good weekend.  My house feels lighter, my life feels lighter and my attic is now empty.  

I was fortunate to find a good home for all of my old items.  A friend of a friend is going to Peru this summer to work with street children through an organization called United Planet.  The organization looks intriguing.  This volunteer is raising money in part by holding an enormous garage sale to offset the cost of his host family in Peru.   He was humbled by the amount of stuff we sent his way.  I hope he raises plenty of cash and I hope he does good work in that forsaken part of the world.